A Hero's Welcome Podcast
A Hero’s Welcome Podcast
For the therapists doing the hard work and the hearts behind the healing.
Hosted by Maria Laquerre Diego and Liliana Baylon, both LMFT-S and RPT-S, A Hero’s Welcome is a podcast created by and for mental health professionals. We spotlight the work, wisdom, and lived experiences of therapists who show up for others every day, especially those working with children, families, and communities impacted by trauma, migration, and systemic stress.
Each episode features honest conversations with expert clinicians, supervisors, trainers, and consultants. We talk about clinical insights, cultural humility, and what it means to support healing in today’s world. This is your space if you’re a therapist seeking a more profound connection, real-world tools, and community.
Hosts:
Maria Laquerre-Diego
maria@anewhopetc.org
Liliana Baylon
liliana@lilianabaylon.com
A Hero's Welcome Podcast
📖 Book: White Supremacy is All Around... by Dr. Cadet
What if navigating the world felt like a constant battle against invisible forces? Dr. Cadet, a Black, disabled woman, shares her compelling journey through high school discrimination, chronic pain, and the societal tensions that inspired her book, "White Supremacy Is All Around: Notes from a Black, Disabled Woman in a White World." As an advocate, leader, and owner of the Oakland Roots and Soul soccer teams, Dr. Cadet opens up about her multifaceted career and the profound impact her work has had on readers seeking guidance through societal challenges.
In a raw and insightful discussion, we confront the pervasive influence of white supremacy in everyday life, from healthcare inequities to career hurdles faced by marginalized individuals. Dr. Cadet's candid reflections on being undervalued and stereotyped reveal the exhausting efforts required to assert one’s worth. She shares personal stories that underscore the universal struggle for equality and recognition in a world where stereotypes often overshadow achievements.
Amidst these heavy themes, we don't shy away from the importance of self-care and self-celebration. Dr. Cadet emphasizes the necessity of setting boundaries, prioritizing personal milestones, and the role of rest in sustaining activism. With anecdotes about planning a personal celebration and the comic relief Chucho (Dog) provided, this episode highlights the balance between resilience and finding joy. As we wrap up, we encourage listeners to support Black literature and celebrate the milestones of marginalized communities, especially during Black History Month.
A Hero's Welcome Podcast © Maria Laquerre-Diego & Liliana Baylon
Welcome back listeners to a very special episode of a Heroes Welcome podcast. I'm your co-host, maria LaCarrie Diego, and I am here with my ever-glowing co-host.
Liliana:That's me. I sound different because I'm getting over a flu, but I'm so excited to be here I don't even know how to introduce you because I'm such a fan. So can you tell our audience how you want to introduce yourself?
Dr. Cadet:Yeah, thank you. I'm so happy to be here, liliana and Maria, because we had a wonderful time last year where we connected and it's part of your book club, which I really, really enjoy. You have to start by saying the way I introduce myself is that I'm a bad bitch, and people are like I don't like bitch. I'm like, well, I do. If I'm calling myself a bad bitch, that gives permission to other people to do it. I'm a baddie. I'm a stunner. I fuck shit up. I dismantle white supremacy. I fuck shit up, I dismantle white supremacy. But I'm also a nerd.
Dr. Cadet:So my doctorate in leadership and organizational behavior that I did receive from a med school, but I'm a non-clinical doc. I use that to help people in spaces and places. Works with brands all over the world, from startups to multi-billion dollar companies, with supporting your leaders. Strategy, crisis management, the very hot topic, dei from time to time. That hasn't happened for years, so all these folks are surprised about DEI. I'm like I haven't had DEI money in a very long time and so that's who I am. I live in Oakland, california. Um, I'm a advocate of uh, beyonce and I have a huge shoe problem. Um, I also happen to own and be one of the owners of the Oakland Roots and Soul the professional soccer teams men and women's soccer teams out here, um, and I'm an author, right, um. So there you are, an author of white supremacists all around notes from black, disabled women in a white world. And this, this little thing, is exactly one years old today. One years old.
Dr. Cadet:So february 6 2024, it came out. We're doing this february 6 2025, and I'm thrilled I can be here with you today. Now, you should also know that I wasn't going to do shit today, except for party. It's going to have therapy and then party because I have a party later tonight. But I like you too. So here we are. It's only you and a celebrity that I'm talking to today.
Maria:That's it Our status Liliana, our status just went through the roof.
Liliana:No one can talk to me for the rest of the day.
Maria:Dr Cadet, thank you so much for taking time of this very special day to chat with us. I know we wanted to highlight your book a little bit. We did use it in our own personal book club and you are so kind to come and chat with all of us and I don't know about anybody else who's listening but the last two and a half weeks your book has become like a beacon of like sanity for myself. I find myself going back and rereading topics and paragraphs that I've highlighted and marked going okay, it's okay, and I think I've got some next steps that I've highlighted and marked going okay, it's, it's, it's okay, and I think I've got some next steps that I can do. Um, so, yeah, I would love for you to maybe start with like the moment that was like oh, I need to put this gift out into the world because it's not just mine anymore.
Dr. Cadet:Yeah, someone just sent me a DM and it said the way I have referenced your book the past two weeks. So so good. You're not alone in that and I love that. I love hearing that when I wanted to put this book in the world, probably it was in high school, to tell you the truth. So when I moved from my K through eight, so my K through eight was a K through six, and then when I was there, they're like you know what, let's make it a K through eight. So I was a top dog from sixth grade for seventh grade class and first eighth grade class and it was great, you know, street cred just through the roof. But when I went to high school and I went to public school because my mom was assistant superintendent of Sac City Unified School Districts- in.
Dr. Cadet:California and when you go to high school, school's bigger. So I went from at my K through eight, being one of four Black families in my class, to more diversity. So think about 80 kids to 2,500. It was like massive. And that is when and where I was harassed by people who looked like me because I talked white to them or it was an Oreo, or my complexion, or my eye color, my hair texture, where my you know I'm smart, I have all these degrees.
Dr. Cadet:So I was in advanced English and I was discriminated against by my English teacher and it was so bad because my mom is an incredible writer, she's my first editor in life and she's like I don't understand why you were getting bad grades on these papers. Cause, like you know, until my mom sat down to talk with that teacher to figure it out and, um, when she came into like the office to meet my mom, to go into the room or whatever, she was just looking and looking and couldn't find my mom kept looking through my mom. My mom has a lighter complexion than me. Her eyes are lighter than me. She had on power suit of the nineties. You know my mom's power suits are mine now and that's because that white ass teacher didn't think that my mom was my mom, because she didn't view black people as those who could write, who could be the assistant superintendent of the school district, who could have all this power and privilege. And so my mom, like, checked her and just took me out of her class and I went to another place and I knew exactly what was happening, you know. And so that's really when I knew I wanted to write this book, because fuck you teacher, and also fuck that MFA program who didn't accept me, you know, to do this Cause. Yeah, I mean honestly, that's like it is really where it all came from.
Dr. Cadet:And now we're at this position where, you know, this book I wrote it was finished in oh my God, when was it finished? October 31st, 2023. My book deal happened like end of 21, 22. So you know what was happening at that time, right? And so when my book came out, it wasn't that same time, and so it wasn't the sexy topic, like some of these books behind me, where my publisher, hachette, didn't want to invest in my book, and so I was all alone, you know. And here we are now where everyone's like, oh my God, we need to talk about this book and I'm like you know, on challengers, zendaya has that t-shirt. It's like I told you yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not a Virgo for nothing.
Maria:Oh, that makes so much sense, this Gemini surrounded by Virgos. I'm a Virgo.
Dr. Cadet:You are yes, you're a Gemini surrounded by Virgos.
Maria:I am a Gemini surrounded by Virgos. So how much do you hate us? You know, there's part of me that loves you guys and collects you guys. And then there's a part of me that goes you were doing this to yourself, Fran. Doing this to yourself, I'll own it, it's totally fine.
Dr. Cadet:That's fair. I tried to date a Gemini and I was like you know what I'm giving up.
Maria:Kudos to my partner. He's got a saint of an angel being for sure.
Dr. Cadet:No, I know I'm not. I'm never saying no to that, but that one I was like I don't. I don't know what's happening, because y'all have your two sides Now, interestingly enough, I'm a twin, so I can understand, because my twin and I are not the same. We are definitely like a Gemini. We have two different sides, right, but I didn't have it in me because I was you know doing book stuff.
Maria:I'll try again now that it's out.
Liliana:We're not all bad, but some of us are a little testy. I want to come back. I love there's like a book, and every time that you talk, I'm like listen. I was like, yes, that's a nugget, yes, that's a nugget.
Liliana:So this idea we live in a world where, when we are considered othering, they don't see us as smart, they don't see us as potential Right. We work twice as hard and it's just never enough. Never enough because we don't have the right skin, we're not the right gender, we're not the right whatever is the excuse that they're looking for. Then, right now, we're going back to being tokens, which is can you talk to me about this? Can you be in this group so that I can prove that I'm not a racist, which they are, but they don't want to talk about it. So we're regressing to what was familiar or has been familiar for most of us who are considered othering. So I love this right Like and even when we're othering, when you said like, I talk white, because I've been hit with that phrase so many times, I don't know what that means. So therefore, I don't belong, according to that, in either space, and it was hard, but your book helped me so much in regards to organize those two roles that there were nothing up for me, period. So you had a way of organizing it that makes sense Now, as I share with you.
Liliana:I have gifted this book so many times because one I truly love the way that you organize it in order for us to see how the system was not set up for us, period, and a lot of people buy into systems, thinking that we need to follow those systems because they work and how they want to use right now this either topic, right, I have a friend who call it. Stop calling it DEI and just call it what it is. Abbreviations do not help. Let's call it the whole name. Do not call it BIPAC Call.
Liliana:Do not call just white supremacy. Let's call, not because we want to be rude, not because we want to isolate people, but because by just abbreviating things, we keep making things so comfortable for others to not call what it is. Now she's not a Virgo, but she's getting closer to me. But I think that is the beauty, which is how do we talk to more people about this book? Because you have this beautiful way of organizing what is happening, what has happened from the beginning, but we refuse to see it or acknowledge because we really love the fantasy that we were sold um, yeah, that fantasy was never for me.
Dr. Cadet:Um, that fantasy, though, is for um, it it. What we're talking about is the American dream. You want to talk about how the American dream is rooted in white supremacy, right? How do I know? What are the words that can no longer be used currently with this administration? Trans, um, male dominated, disability, women I wish I was kidding you know anti-racism. There are a lot of these words that can no longer be used. Yeah, and why is that? Because the American dream is for heterosexual, non-disabled white guys to profit, to own land, to own people when it comes down to it. So, for all of us, we can't live the American dream.
Dr. Cadet:That constitution was written by those white men that I just described. All of them were landowners. All of them came from a place of wealth. Some of them owned my ancestors, most of them did. So we, all of us here, are not designed to thrive, and so we look at the current administration, donald's regime and, by the way, I call him Donald because there's a 2018 study that talks about how women in positions of power are called by their first name. So we think about last year. Right In the election, everyone was like Kamala, kamala, kamala, and then Trump, trump, trump. Right. And the reason why that happens is that when you call someone by their first name, it is signaling that they are not qualified to do their leadership role, their job. So Donald and James David are pieces of shit, right. And James David, I have to tell everyone, is JD Vance. They don't understand, right.
Maria:Right Again, right the abbreviations. People don't make those connections. Yeah, they do not.
Dr. Cadet:They don't make those connections. So what they are doing, in addition to the mandate for leadership, also known as Project 2025, is getting back to restoring those American values that benefited heterosexual, non-disabled white men. Why? Because that bitch, she's a bad bitch. She's also at home and she has to stay in her place. She has to make her fruit snacks from fucking scratch, right, like all of that. You know, people are like that's wild, but then they have millions and millions of followers and then they're being conditioned and they're like you know, I would, I would like to make those lunches that tell you know a mermaid's adventure, to make those lunches that tell you know a mermaid's adventure. You know, right, and all of this is designed to put that superiority, remind people of that superiority, in place.
Dr. Cadet:So, going back to your earlier comment, liliana, about talking white, I do not talk white. You talk like someone who is an American. I talk like someone who went to school. Talk to talk like someone who has a doctorate. You expect me to be in school for half my life. It'll be 10 years that I have my doctorate this year, this summer, and I'm not supposed to sound the way I'm supposed to sound. You think that my immigrant father who is all about the American dream, by the way didn't work so hard to become a lawyer. So I lived in a white ass neighborhood, because the white ass neighborhood had the grocery store and the parks and I could just walk the streets and do whatever I wanted to do. So how else am I supposed to sound?
Maria:right? Well, I love it because, sounding white, even within our own, you know 48 continuous States um white people from New Mexico do not sound like white people from Alabama, or sound like white people from Maine.
Dr. Cadet:What's happening in Baltimore. I don't understand. I don't understand some of the words, don't you know? Yeah, but yeah. But. So I mean that's a valid, valid, valid and very powerful point. Right, because if someone has a southern draw, they can be viewed as less intelligent too. Right, and there's a whole bunch of being good on a whole little rabbit hole with that. But these are the systems and structures of white supremacy.
Dr. Cadet:So what is white supremacy? White supremacy, white supremacy, is the social determinants of health. White supremacy is what you need to thrive and grow right and have opportunity to live your life to the fullest. So it is the grocery store. It is getting pulled over by the cop and just getting a ticket or being told to slow down. It's going to the emergency room and having her pain be relieved. It's getting promoted for no reason. It's just like you've been here. So let me give you this promotion. It's being served at the restaurant, the cafe, the airport, wherever you are, and not being watched while you shop. It's the things that everyone should have.
Dr. Cadet:But the way white spermacy works is only white people or those that acclimate or have lighter skin privilege can benefit from those things. I would love to have white spermacy. Great, it'd be great. I wouldn't have to fight for my life every time I'm dealing with health stuff. I wouldn't have to lay off my staff because no one wants to give me money anymore, because I had unrealistic margins for the five years of the murder of George Floyd. I wouldn't have to do those things. People would just give me money for no reason. But my intersectionality as a Black person, as a woman, but my intersectionality as a black person, as a woman and as a disabled person, means that I shouldn't be here, I should not be successful, I should not sound white, I should not, you know, do anything that's remotely close to white people's success.
Maria:Right, you shouldn't have a doctorate, shouldn't be published author.
Dr. Cadet:Nobody should be hearing from you, yeah, oh, I don't know, not at all, but I like to fuck shit up, hence the book and if you accomplish those right, it was because you're a person of color and it was given to you um this whole idea because I've been in tables where first I used to hide my education and and then I was, and part of it is because I also come from Mexico.
Liliana:I'm not supposed to my stuff and and it was someone in my field who said, no, you have to embrace it. So finally, I was in in a meeting recently when I said, excuse me, I have two master's degrees I have. So I started like naming and the person just went quiet, um, and and it's this idea of like no, no, no, no, part my language. You want to measure dicks? Mine is bigger and I don't have to tell you that it's bigger because I know it's bigger period, let's move on. But I also understand, right, how oh I'm doing this and I have to do it in a way where I cannot be mad because of mad.
Maria:Now you're dismissing me because I'm mad oh, don't be a hysterical woman, liliana, don't do that, or a fiery Latina.
Liliana:That's the one that I get a lot Because. Then I get dismissed Because I'm just too passionate and it's not organized and it's not. I don't even understand your accent anymore, can you? What does she mean to say Like? I get that quite often.
Liliana:So this idea that I have to be composed, that I have to be organized all the time, that I have to take my time so that I don't intimidate you with what I know how I sound, it's fucking exhausting and to be explaining and describing this all the time it is. So I think that when I met, when you, when you came to our book club for anyone who's out there, stop sending requests about the book club and you're gonna have to form more book clubs, by the way, because we said that and then you have no idea, um, but, but I love about when you came into a book club and and you were describing your process of writing this book, your experiences, because I found a lot of these are universal. When you're othering and just by being female, that is a challenge. How are we there to have this level of education, how we dare to have a point in these tables, um, how we dare to inspire, to make money. Uh, because we're supposed to be as females, we're supposed to be relying on a male to provide this so that they can feel better about themselves. Um, so you have this beautiful and and, by the way, with medical stuff, I remember I tell like, oh my god, you're my twin. Uh, because even with the medical stuff and and the disability, like having to go to the ER and having a doctor believe on what you're sharing it's so frustrating not having language for that too.
Liliana:So, being all having all these intersections, all these identities, and bring it back to the mental field where we are, where, how do we organize it? Because we're having parallel process with our clients. So clients are coming in and sharing their stuff. We're holding for them. For some of us who are seasoned therapists, as they like to call us, letting us know that we've been in the field for a while. So now we supervise, we pay it forward and now holding spaces for supervisees and the new cohorts who are coming in and they're holding some of them. This is their first round, you know, with Trump, because they were in school back then. So having to hold this space for their clients. How do we go to talk about self-care and and you know, learning how to rest so that you can advocate. Learning how to rest so that you can go at it again as I love. I don't know if you're familiar with Dolores Huerta. She's an activist. She started with Cesar Chavez, so everyone knows Cesar Chavez, but not everyone knows about Dolores Huerta.
Dr. Cadet:Yeah, that's how it goes.
Liliana:Sounds right. She's still up there and she is the one who, for the first time the Donald Trump run. She's like you guys need to learn how to rest, because activism is something that keeps going. Kind of like your point is now from going from point A to point B, activism is an ongoing process. Right, and again I love you for highlighting that in your book. So how do we talk about self-care in this field? Where in our field, unfortunately, psychotherapy we talk about it from you go and consume, you go get a pedicure, you go get, and then you go and work again.
Dr. Cadet:How would you? Pedicure is not going to do shit. I mean, good, yes, do it, but it's not. You know, like it's not um. So let's do a little story um. January 20th 2025, um, some of you may remember it as mlk day, others may remember it as inauguration day in the beginning of where we are now, right Beginning of the end, I guess.
Dr. Cadet:And you know, I come from this additional intersectionality of being an activist and also being a consultant, an advisor, a therapist, if you will, to executives, leaders, celebrities, influencers and brands. And so I got up that day and I just did a little Instagram post and I did my little sub stack and then I shut it down. I shut it down, I didn't go on social media, I didn't do anything. That is rest, because I knew it'd be one of the last days where rest would be the easiest right. I woke up in the morning. I watch funny things. There's a whole bunch of SNL Saturday Night Lives that I didn't watch. I was just trying to watch funny stuff and ordered in. And then I woke up to my post that said a convicted felon rapist and white supremacist became president on MLK Day. At that point it had 550,000 views and hundreds of white supremacists had entered the chat, the comments, right, I still am going back to block a whole bunch of people from that post.
Dr. Cadet:On January 20th, on my sub stack there was a post that said this N-word needs to go back to the plantation. And I was like, well, this is. This has never happened on Substack. What do I do? I had to, like, figure out that process. And then, as I was going through my emails, I received an email from undead, shotgun white YT at gmailcom. If anyone wants to email them. Um, that said she lost, he won, get over it. This is my work email. This is my akila at email, right? And then my out of office is still on my out of office talks about mlk day and me being me, and replied back with a pixelated video of a man screaming over and over release me, who was on a cross with fire behind it. And that was my first day back.
Dr. Cadet:So I was like, well, I guess I'm now, and I've gotten death threats before, but now I'm in a different position because we have to call MAGA for what MAGA is, and they are an extremist group, they are a hate group, right? And those folks have time? Yeah, they do they have time right To find my email, to send something, to do all that other stuff right. And so I had to make a decision. And that decision was me texting my neighbor saying what, who's like this very, very fancy electrician for, like UC Berkeley, like does all the fancy equipment to that discovers the future, or whatever. And I was like can I, can you like, can you like, install a 24-7 camera in front of my door? He, he's a white guy, but he takes care of me.
Dr. Cadet:Um and uh, I had to sit here and say like this isn't sustainable. This isn't sustainable because the only way I can protect myself because as an activist, I do it through social media, because with my disability I don't have the ability to go outside and do stuff like that. And so I had to decide how am I going to sustain myself? Because this is not sustainable. So that goes back into rest. So I have very firm boundaries where I don't work on Fridays, I don't have meetings on Mondays. I just say no all the time, you know, to a lot of things so I can fit stuff in and I don't.
Dr. Cadet:I've always had healthy boundaries with social media, but I give myself grace for going in. I have to individually go and block all these people Because if not, they'll come back. If not, they'll send me a DM. And I live to individually go and block all these people Because if not, they'll come back. If not, they'll send me a DM and I live a blocked and unbothered life. There's only so many messages that you can look at. You know that happens. Resistance and things like that that come from a lot of black women, indigenous women. You know that have been doing this work for a long time. It's because of what you said. They knew civil rights movement was going to take a very long time. They knew jim crow was going to take a very, very long, long time. They knew you know. So they had to be able to give themselves grace along the way to be able to disconnect. Now it's important to note there's privilege and rest.
Liliana:Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Cadet:Privilege. My world in general is pretty fucked because people know me and that takes, so I can be, I can be at. This has happened at my little getaway massage spot. It's at this fancy hotel. It's 10 minutes from here. I love it. Get a massage, hang out, spa, have a wonderful time and I'll leave.
Dr. Cadet:Oh my god, drk you're now undoing what I just did, but but I'm a kind person, I always talk to people and it's great. But even in those moments of rest, um, sometimes they're not given to me, and so rest is me not going outside, because my home is the safest, most supportive space, you know, for me but, my work tonight.
Maria:Yeah, we've had that conversation ourselves being disabled professionals in the world. It's, like you know, sometimes like my rest is just not leaving the house for several days at a time and doing what I can inside my, inside, my safety net.
Dr. Cadet:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and I think let's talk about that though, because that part of our intersectionality, too, makes rest harder. So, um, I have, let's see, end of last year I was casually on suicide watch. Um, it was very fun with my, with my um therapist, um, and a lot of it is. I just don't like the holidays, because it's a whole other story, but I, you know, I miss my dog and stuff, but I, um, every day I'm like it's today the day that my healthcare is going to go up.
Dr. Cadet:Right every day I'm like. It's today the day that my healthcare is going to go up right. It's today, the day that I'm not going to be able to get the injection that I take for the rest of my life so my spine doesn't fuse together. It's today, the day that, you know, my stress level is going to be so high that I'll actually have a heart attack. You know, I know I'm flaring more already just because of the nature of my work and what we see and hear and what we're doing, and so that makes rest not a nice to have thing.
Dr. Cadet:It is a life or death thing. It definitely is for me, you know. So we have to really be mindful of that when we see what's happening in this current administration and what they want to do, not only to health care and delivery, but to the research that's also needed, to the services that's also needed so that we can maintain health. Like last year, a lot of people don't realize this the federal government allocated research dollars to women's health for the first time. For the first time, for the first time. People don't even they don't get it Health and research dollars for women's health.
Maria:we're talking periods, pregnancies, menopause, how certain conditions affect women's bodies over men's bodies I mean, it was just last year that we heard about the pads and tampons having toxic materials in them. That was not even considered to be worthy of looking at until last year, but was it 2020 or 2021?
Dr. Cadet:We no longer taxed on those products for people who use those types of products. Meanwhile, men and they're talking Viagra it's always been part of your healthcare spending account, your flexible spending account. I mean it's so many of those things. So, again, the privilege to rest is crucial for people who, you know, have chronic illness, chronic pain, disability, but again, there's still privilege in it, right? Because when you go back into the intersectionality, back into the intersectionality, y'all have to deal with people who are going through this stuff, or you're educating people who are going through this stuff, or both, while you are also going through this stuff, right? And so the layers in which it takes for you to get to that point of rest I mean I can watch 90 Day Fiance and be like wow, white people, really just white supremacy it's right there, you know what I mean and that's my rest Right, but I'll still analyze.
Dr. Cadet:Oh, there's a whole bunch of ableism showing up. You know that's still in my rest.
Maria:I will not rest until I marry up.
Dr. Cadet:I'll marry up or I become a millionaire again.
Maria:And defining that rest isn't a cure, right, because that's the other thing is like well, if you just rest, then you'll be better. And it's like no. Rest doesn't cure things. It helps me recharge so my battery continues to go, but like no, taking a nap in the middle of the day is not going to just magically make my body function the way you think it's supposed to and I mean go to work in order to pay my medical bills, which this amount of stress is creating.
Liliana:More medical issues, then like is this loop?
Dr. Cadet:the loop, my copay. I have a platinum ppo. It went up, you know, it's been in the thousands but it's more thousands now. And I have a platinum pPO because I have multiple, multiple comorbidities and five of them are rare. And I got, you know, my regular keep me alive drugs. I take two keep me alive drugs every day and it used to be like $3 and some nonsense for two of them. Now it's $14. And for someone that's like well, it's $14. I'm like no, no, I have expenses that I have to pay for. Like my massages aren't covered and I need massages for my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome body, my EDS body, and so it's taking away from that. All of that adds up. Right, it adds up. There's a time where I like have too much medication. I just get it anyway. I'm like three bucks. But now it's like do I have it? Do I have enough?
Maria:because maybe I'll skip it this time that's over 400 markup like because it's a small dollar amount does not mean that that markup does not make a significant difference.
Dr. Cadet:It's generic, you know, it's not, you know the, you know. So it's a lot of that stuff is. It's incredibly frustrating. But the thing that comes along with rest, which I think is easier to do, is to find pockets of joy, because you can find them throughout the day. They could be two seconds, seven hours, whatever right, just finding these pockets of joy, because Donald can't take your joy. You know he can piss you off for sure, but he cannot take your joy. And so that was the other thing that I had to do. It's like, okay, I'm going to find Billy, that is what I'm going to do. That is what I'm going to do. And so I mentioned I mentioned earlier I'm having a party tonight and, um, I almost kind of want to read the email to you of what I said out. But, um, in short, I said you can come to this bar restaurant. I'm in this private space, that my friend owns the space and he told me years ago, it's like, do something here for the book I'm going to give you the space and it's AAPI on space. It'll be decorated like for lunar year. I'm so excited and it's really, really cool.
Dr. Cadet:But I said come if you want between five 30 and seven 30. I'm not paying for shit. So if you want to come and just say hi, that's fine. If you want to have a drink or get some food, that's also fine too. I am not picking up anyone's tab. Your sole purpose is to come and celebrate me. And if you cannot make it, because life just totally fine. Send me a message of encouragement so I can make it through this year.
Dr. Cadet:Right, I don't want to find a sponsor. I don't want to find a sponsor. I didn't want to have a display. I didn't want to have a table set. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to lose any of my money because I've been taking care of so many people and I need things to be about me. I need people to pour into me and my joy. And if that rubs in the wrong way, guess what? You are not my person, and that's fine. That's absolutely fine. I'm a Virgo, I'm going to take notes and they're not going to get any more stuff from me. You know, you know moving forward. But that was really really hard for me to do because I am a caretaker and I had to, like you know, work with my therapist to do that because naturally, I would feel like I'm less than because I'm not creating an experience for folks. But the experience is me.
Dr. Cadet:A year ago I, you know, I tried to end my life right before this book came out because publisher wasn't going to support me. I was going to be on my own. I had to spend a whole bunch of money for my book tour. That could have been money for me and my health and what I needed.
Dr. Cadet:But everyone tells you, like you know, a book is is what you should invest in. And you know I did it. And, um, the return on investment is always there because I wrote it. I'm proud of me. Um, the return on investment is there when folks like you, say they love the book and they share the book. It's there. But I also need money too, you know, because being disabled is expensive, being an entrepreneur is expensive, you know, and I was just like, maybe it's just not worth it. So the simple fact that I went to bed at 4 am because my stomach was not trying to be kind, and I woke up and two people I really care about sent me a happy anniversary thing and I was like, ah, they're making another year, um, and my best friend asked me three things to share, like three positive things today, and I was like one, I'm still here. And two, this party is about me tonight and I don't have to do anything.
Maria:And then three no, seriously, I'm still here, because I wasn't, and then I bawled. So I was like that's why I was late.
Dr. Cadet:I had to start crying and how to get myself together. Because I made it, you did together. Because I made it, you did, you know, and I have major depressive disorder for the listeners. So being in chronic pain and having major depressive disorder is a vicious cycle. I wish on Donald and James Vance you know I do wish it on them. So it means a lot to be here and now I have to sit in this place of what will happen to my book this year. And if my book doesn't get to where books go this year, am I going to have to deal with some hard feelings or difficult feelings? Right? And so that's what me and my therapist gets to do later today.
Maria:No, I, I I'm so appreciative of of you sharing your story, because I, your story because we don't always think right are products of humans, humans with feelings and humans who gave up and paid dearly to put that thing out into the world, and I think it just speaks to the disconnect of humanity that we have seen such an increase and I fear that we are just going to continue to see such an increase of with project 2025, with, you know, the current administration and just I mean, there's always been a disconnect for a lot of the intersectionalities, um, that you, we talked about today, but that has been one that just continues to rise. That you know, people feel really emboldened behind the screen to just be awful, awful people.
Dr. Cadet:Yeah, yeah, I mean, they really are. But it's really important to let folks know if you are in a press group, you are disabled, you're BIPOC, black, indigenous Person of Color, a woman, pretty, lgbt plus community like a press group. You really really have to be careful, because when you have someone like Donald in office, who supports the very individuals who have been waiting, waiting to go back to Jim Crow era, people should be concerned for their physical safety. You know, microaggressions will increase um and that's what we call covert, whatever the thing is racism, homophobia, ableism, whatever um. But we are going to have like more like over, like in your face, direct, like we are coming for you. We are going to harm you because Donald said we could, yeah.
Liliana:So we're going back to the era of giving permission so that you can be vocally racist and make threats, and totally okay because you're a white man or a white woman, right.
Dr. Cadet:but physically, we have to physically right. So what we saw right after donald was elected, we saw more more karens right being in your face again and that hadn't happened for a while. I mean, it always happens, but it wasn't like oh, there's these things happening again and and people are losing their jobs. You know again. You know, depending on the brand or company, that they work for right, and so I think we have to really talk about what are you going to do for your support system? What are you going to do for safety? This is not a like we made it through the first time thing. This is a regime. This is an olig thing. This is a regime. This is an oligarchy. This is also how capitalism works. But we are not safe, right, we're not safe. Like, impeachment articles are starting again. You know to go through that process maybe third time's a charm, but there's still this system and structure that's in place of these architects of Project 2025.
Dr. Cadet:Individuals who are white supremacists. When you have the leader of the Proud Boys released and other of the January 6th insurrectionists released, and you have a white Capitol Police officer say I am in fear of my life, that's incredibly problematic, right? So I always say pay attention because you really really have to pay attention. Because you really really have to pay attention. I called what's happening in Gaza genocide in my book on October 31st 2023. Yeah, 2023. Because I knew it was going to happen. So it's not a surprise to me that the besties benjamin and donald are are doing ethnic cleansing right now. It's not a surprise to me when I said last year, like what happens there in gaza can happen here. So you know, it's like an unprecedented, unprecedented, unprecedented time. I don't know, I don't know how many unprecedented times we are in, but you know it's definitely. It's definitely that.
Dr. Cadet:And so you know, going back to how we started, the reason why I wrote this book is so people who look and live like us and our intersectionality can feel validated, seen and heard. Those oppressed groups right, they could know that I made it through so much stuff so we could keep moving forward. And then it's for the white folks who were performative and there were allies right around the murder of George Floyd and to move past allyship and become an accomplice. Accomplice is exactly what it sounds like. You are willing to take the risk of robbing the bank and hopping in the car and moving and risking it all you know, for someone who doesn't have the same power and privilege as you, and so I, you know. So I hope people use this book to help them make it through this time. Oh, my goodness, sorry, just the nose alone.
Maria:We've had a special guest. Chucho has joined the chat.
Dr. Cadet:Chucho is ridiculously cute. You don't even. Oh, I love dogs. And now all this. Like my blood pressure has gone down just like that.
Maria:Magical creatures. And I think, you know, dr Cade, I think I mean I could talk to you for hours about this accomplished, you know, ship that you've offered out Because I think it's so important and I think it's going to be even more important. I mean it's only been two and a half weeks. You know we've got a long, long road.
Dr. Cadet:It's only been two and a half weeks.
Maria:It's only been a two and a half weeks. It's been the longest, you know, two and a half weeks of my little life, but I think too, having you come back to talk about and and to be really direct, I think the one thing I really, one of the things I really appreciate about you is this this is no nonsense, this is, this is how it is, this you just share it and you don't try to sugarcoat it, you don't try to downplay any of it, and I think that, and then an you know, an important conversation for whites to listen to is the you know, don't be an ally, be an accomplice. And here is what that means and here is how you do that so yeah 100 thank you.
Liliana:Thank you for being here. Please celebrate big um for all of you who are listening. Please send kind words. Listen, you know what's a good thing that you're looking forward to. Let's post more of that stuff, my gosh the drops of joy.
Maria:Yes, yeah.
Liliana:And go buy this book.
Dr. Cadet:I think it's a good book to buy, or the audio book. If you like this voice, the audio book is me Enjoy the audio book Quite a bit the audio book and then we went and bought the book.
Dr. Cadet:It's also great too. It makes a wonderful gift and it is Black History Month, so anyone who has any white guilt, this is a wonderful gift as well. So tap into that. But also reviews Reviews are helpful too. You know. You can copy and paste that review from goodreads to amazon to walmart, to wherever you buy the books, because my book is available wherever books are sold and that signals to um society. It signals to the publisher that people are talking about this book. They want to see more of this book.
Liliana:Let's all, collectively, do that. Thank you again for your time, for your wisdom. You want to use this platform. You're more than welcome.
Dr. Cadet:Oh well, whenever you want me, just you know, find me, I'll be here.
Maria:I will definitely have you back, but, yes, happy one year celebration I hope that you are just flooded with drops of joy today.
Dr. Cadet:I hope so too, but my outfit's cute.
Liliana:That I do know. It's all that matters. We hope to get pictures later, so take care of you and thank you, listeners, and go get that book.
Dr. Cadet:Thank you.
