Burnout, Boundaries, And Being Human

The world feels loud, relentless, and on fire, and we’re saying it out loud. We unpack what burnout looks like when you’re a therapist, a caregiver, a business owner, and a human with real health needs. From gendered reactions to boundaries to the whiplash of funding news that can upend client care overnight, we explore why mental health work is unavoidably political and how that reality lands in our bodies, our calendars, and our communities.

We get honest about the “crispy around the edges” feeling, the hypervigilance every time a news alert pings, and the moral injury that comes with holding trauma in a culture that still expects constant availability. We also highlight who’s getting squeezed hardest, LGBTQ clients and other marginalized groups, and why alignment with your own therapist’s values can be the difference between masking and true relief. This is a conversation about naming what hurts without shame and building support that actually holds.

You’ll hear practical, doable steps: setting boundaries that stick, protecting time off before you need it, creating micro-respite through play and simple rituals, and using future-self planning to cut decision fatigue. We talk about peer consults, safer supervision, and bottom-up advocacy when professional associations feel distant. No toxic positivity, no hustle-speak, just real strategies for staying human while you help humans.

If you’re tired and still showing up, you’re not alone. Hit play to feel seen, gather language for hard conversations, and leave with tools you can use this week. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a colleague who needs it, and leave a review telling us one boundary you’re committing to next.

A Hero's Welcome Podcast  © Maria Laquerre-Diego & Liliana Baylon

Transcript

Health Check-In And Catching Up

Liliana 0:35

Welcome back, listeners, to another episode. I am Ria La Care Diego, your co-host, and I'm joined by my bestie and co-host.

Maria 0:44

That's right. She said it out loud for everyone. I'm her bestie. Liliana Valen. And we are here. First of all, we have not recorded in a while. We miss all of you. Oh my gosh, yes. And let's start with we were just taking care of our health. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it's been a busy couple of months.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Yes.

Maria 1:08

For sure. On so many levels. Yes. We started by discussing before we record, we tend to do check-ins. And as all of you know, because we have been naming for three seasons now. We have health issues, we have dynamic disabilities because of those health issues. And I'm new to this, so I tend to overbook myself. And then I pay the price for overbooking myself because my body has to remind me, hey bitch, no, you have to slow down. You need to slow down. That's right. And I think in my mind that I'm in my 20s, and my body reminds me, no, you're also wrong.

Boundaries, Gender, And Expectations

Liliana 1:51

Yes, and I think that is this is a common trap a lot of us fall into. Our field is heavily demanded to be productive and to be busy and to always be available. And it is hard to work our way out of that.

Maria 2:11

Yes, which I love this subway, right? Because last year we were fortunate enough to be together in a training in Texas with Marshall and Robert. And we were talking about this issue. How come men seem to put better boundaries than females?

Liliana 2:32

Yes, and they're accepted better. Boundaries by males are accepted better than boundaries placed by females.

Maria 2:41

Somehow, when you are a clinician, the idea is that you have to be available for your clients. When you are a supervisor, then the expectation goes into you have to be available for your supervisees. And when you become a presenter, you have to be available when you present for anyone who wants to ask you questions, even when you have to pee.

Liliana 3:07

Yes, well, and what you've experienced that I've been able to witness for you is you don't even have to be presenting at an event. But if people have been listening to the podcast or have attended some of your trainings, you know, you are often extended invitations like do you want to go to dinner? Do you want to get a drink? Do you want to hang out? And it can be difficult to put those boundaries down and not feel as though you're going to be labeled as rude or antisocial or whatever those labels might be.

Maria 3:38

Which let's be honest, I am labeled all those things because last year started putting those boundaries of no, I'm gonna go to my room.

unknown 3:46

Yeah.

Maria 3:47

So I have not gone to dinner with others or play other go onto activities because I'm like, I have to go and take care of me.

unknown 3:55

Yeah.

Naming Burnout Without Shame

Maria 3:55

Which comes with labels of being rude or not approachable or so on and so forth. And that don't get placed on our male counterparts. They don't play, yes, which I love that conversation with Robert and with Marshall, which they both um acknowledge how we get treated differently. But that brings us to the topic of how's everyone doing with burnout? Let's go with that subway. Ooh, everybody take a breath. Yes, please do. Is everyone else feeling it?

Liliana 4:30

This is important because I think we've been like personally and privately, we've been talking, and I think we've both acknowledged we've been dancing around it the last couple of months and being able to just sit and stay, like with our whole chest, like, yeah, no, I'm I'm burnt out. You know, I used to, you know, refer to it as like I'm starting to feel crispy around the edges. No, no, I'm I'm full-on crispy. This has been a difficult year. It feels like we're facing another difficult year, and it's really taking a toll. And I think part of the the burnout for us in our profession is the blend of what we're experiencing personally and what we're experiencing professionally, both from the administration and from what our clients are experiencing.

Maria 5:24

Yes, so it's all the systems, right? So we started our conversation when we're doing check-ins in regards to how we're seeing now in social media everyone talking about our feel being very political.

unknown 5:39

Yeah.

Why Therapy Is Political

Maria 5:40

So again, all of you breathe if your lungs allow it. Move, drink, wink, wink, your coffee or your tea, whatever you're drinking to be helpful. We don't judge your liquid. No, we don't. But let's let's talk about it because these are going hand that what we're discovering is they're they're going hand in hand. The burnout that we're feeling is because uh we are acknowledging that our feel is political and we're being affected by the current political environment that is deciding either what our feel is worth or all the cuts that they're doing because they don't see the importance of not only physical wellness, but also your emotional well-being.

Liliana 6:33

Yes, absolutely, absolutely. I think, you know, and if you're on Facebook and in any of those groups, therapy being political is still a hotly debated topic, right? And statement. So to be very clear, Lilian and I absolutely believe mental health and counseling is political for many, many reasons. You are welcome to disagree with us. Just because we believe it doesn't mean it's true for you. Yes. But what we are experiencing, well, I mean, from all levels, from all levels, right? From my my being a group practice owner and having employees and our clients, we accept insurance payments and Medicaid from our clients. And it wasn't but a handful of weeks ago where we all woke up to the news that SAMHSA funding was cut, Medicaids were cut, and then it was, you know, reversed. But even going through, you know, whatever that was, 40, 72 hours of uncertainty, that's that's that's the livelihood and well-being of myself, my employees. How can this not be seen as political when the people in power, regardless of what side of the aisle they are on, make decisions that directly impact us?

Maria 7:57

Yes, which creates high anxiety for our clients, high anxiety for us therapists, high anxieties for you guys who are group owners, and then it's how we're feeling exhausted for this playing back and forth of that's not what I meant, that's not what he meant, but this is what we're doing, this is like bad spending. Like they're just playing with us because that's what we are. We're toys for others.

Liliana 8:28

Absolutely. Well, and I think too, I think what highlights for me is that we're in a relationship with them, whether we want to be or not. Yes. And for myself, the last year has felt like I'm in a very abusive relationship in which I'm on pins and needles. I've got hypervigilance.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Yes.

Funding Shocks And System Stress

Liliana 8:48

You know, I when my new my little news notification lights up on my phone, I I absolutely have a physical reaction to dread and anxiety of what what what next? What else? What is this going to be like? And that's just one small instance of my very long day and working with clients who are experiencing this, working with my clinicians who are experiencing this. You know, being able to stand firm in that all everyone deserves access to care, including mental health care. I think more now than ever, that should be a right that we have. And for it to feel like it's a carrot that's dangled and then like ripped away from us is exhausting and so frustrating.

Maria 9:44

Yeah. So it's all the systems, right? So it's the impact that it has when a government is saying what they approve and then systems have to follow. And even when we're discussing the parallel process that we're going through, feeling the burnout, feeling exhausted, high anxiety, and then realizing that there are certain groups who are having it worse.

unknown 10:17

Yeah.

Maria 10:17

Such as the LGBT community, who are now in some states, they don't have access to treatment. They used they they used to be covered. So this is not about what group is having it worse, it's about acknowledging the burnout that we are all experiencing in different levels to access. Yet, because this is a very, very political issue, we are all experiencing it.

Hypervigilance And Collective Dread

Liliana 10:47

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And it is like there are pockets and marginalized communities, as there have always been who are experiencing it on a different level. Absolutely. And I think it's really important that we acknowledge that we're experiencing this, right? And we kept saying, like, COVID was like the first time we were really open about we're experiencing this as a human, and we're helping people who are also experiencing that as a professional. And there's no respite, right? There's no light at the end of the tunnel right now, there's no end date for this. And and we find ourselves in that situation again of just never knowing when is it going to be safe for us to rest? When is it going to be safe for us to feel confident in what we can offer and what we can sustain? Because I mean, I'll we'll we'll be really on as we always are with our listeners. It's exhausting and we are flipping tired. We're tired, and yet we still have to show up, right? We're existing in a country that is on fire right now. People are dying, people are losing their livelihoods, and yet we're supposed to show up to work like everything is normal, and respond to those emails and return those phone calls and make sure our schedule is full. And the dichotomy, this the existence of one foot in, one foot out, it's not sustainable. It's not sustainable.

Maria 12:27

Definitely not. I know I've been because of my health issues, and and please, listeners, let us know if you um identify with this. But I remember talking with one of my doctors. Yes, I said one of my doctors. I work with many. We have a Rolodex. Yeah, unfortunately, don't think this is a privilege because I can exchange this privilege any given time if you if you want to. But I was talking to one of my doctors, and I said, I chose for a living being a container for trauma. And I'm very aware of it. And I also have medical trauma, I have emotional trauma, I have childhood trauma, and I have political trauma. So I do not know if this burnout is a burnout because of my profession, because of my health. I don't know if I have a deficiency or if I just need to set everything on fire and call it quit. When people say, like, I'm gonna move to another country, and I'm like, Well, are you watching international news? Because it's also really bad everywhere else. Yes. So, you know, coming back to having even discussions not only with your own therapist, which they're also having a parallel process, but even like talking to doctors now, and they go, Yes. So having the real conversation, even again with when one of my doctors, and we were discussing the trauma that we're holding, and and how our systems do not understand like how we contain trauma. And we can regulate and we can do everything that our field tells us to do as responsible mental health therapists, and it's so exhausting that I don't know what name we're gonna give it because burnout is just that that's not that's justice. Yeah, it doesn't feel like it's enough.

Unequal Impact On Marginalized Groups

Liliana 14:27

Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think too, I think being able to name it out loud, right? I think it's helpful to acknowledge and identify the different types of burnout that we're experiencing and the different types of traumas that are leading to that. But I think it's really important too that we stop trying to mask and we stop trying to placate everybody, you know, and do the social media thing where we only post the highlight reel. Let's be really honest and and for yourself as you're listening, just be really honest for yourself. This is not an easy time. If you're not in therapy yourself as a practitioner, please find a clinician for yourself. We are not meant to hold all of this. And and I, you know, I always I always tell all of my clinicians the best therapists have therapists because the idea that we need to be strong all the time and smile all the time, that's absolute garbage. It's absolute garbage. We need to be there for our clients, but we also need someone to be there for us. And now more than ever, you need to find someone. And again, I it goes back to it being kind of political for myself. I vetted my own clin my own therapist on like their political views and values because I needed to know that that was going to be a safe space for me to explore all of this. And again, I think it's just one example of how our profession is political. Because if you are, if your clients are trusting you to be on the same page, they need to know where you stand on some of these issues.

Containers Of Trauma At Work And Home

Maria 16:10

Yeah. And and you don't have to have clients who disagree with you, or or vice versa, but we do need a space so that we can go and organize uh what we're going through, right? Because it has to be a level of safety. Yeah. Um, I have shared that since COVID, and and I guess it's because how my website described my therapy services describe what kind of therapy do I offer. I remember the first time that a client asked me, I need to know your stance on abortion, or I need to know what political affiliation do you have. And and you know, I was curious of like, well, tell me more. I have worked with police officers who have hard views and was like, okay, how can I connect with you? So you you can choose who you work with if you have, I'm gonna use the for lack of a better word, a privilege to do so. Because sometimes you're in agencies where you are assigned who you work with and that's it. So a lot of the supervise is even discussing like how do you take care of yourself when you have no say on who you work with. Right. And and and it's hard, everything that we are containing. Again, I I use this word not lightly, but we are containers of trauma. So we do this for work and then we come home. And then we get to hear from our neighbors, from our family members, from our friends, what is it that there's going on in their lives? So it's not like we can escape it. Yeah, right. If you go to social media, which uh, you know, Maria and I were discussing early, how we are limiting our personal stuff. And thank God we have someone to handle a lot of the professional stuff. But you know, what is it that we're doing and what is it that we're limiting to take care of ourselves or even in our book club, yeah, right? Like when we decided we need a different book this month, we need something that shows like what is it that we can do because we can continue reading fiction, and it's getting harder and harder with what we're doing. In in our group of friends, how we are naming how's your burnout?

Liliana 18:25

Yeah, just being able to name it and talk about it.

Maria 18:29

Yes, it was so refreshing in our last gathering talking about how are you taking care of yourself, how are you escaping. What are you watching, what are you listening to, what are you cooking, what you know, whatever it was that you were doing to take care of you. We need a little bit of everything to survive what we're going through. And that's the word survive.

Liliana 18:56

Absolutely. And I think finding little pockets of normalcy has been really helpful. Putting boundaries down where we can is helpful, and that you know, is absolutely self-care. My own therapist this week told me as we were working on some stuff, and she was like, you know, anytime you do something today for your future self, she's like, I count that as self-care, right? And so sometimes that is like, you know, I was sharing, we were talking about you know how everyone else is experiencing this and how do we build it into our schedule. You know, and someone had shared that they take a week off every quarter for themselves. And I was like, that yes, that is ideal. And she was like, Yeah, and that's self-care. If you know every quarter, you've got it, it's already in your planner, it's already blocked off for you. Yes, right. And I think it's really important that we are talking about this. So whether that, you know, that means you drop us a comment, you reach out to us, you turn to your group of friends and tell them, look, I am feeling burnt out.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Yeah.

Liliana 20:05

And I am needing to refill my cup. What can we do? I think it's it's far past time for us to start normalizing this conversation because unfortunately the world continues to spin and it continues to be on fire.

Stop Masking: Therapists Need Therapy

Maria 20:23

And it has to start from the bottom up, right? Because if we turn to our associations, they're not talking and they're not doing anything for us. Remember, we have a fantasy that they're taking care of us, but the reality is that they're to micromanage our credentials. That's it. So they're not naming, they're not advocating, they're not loving for us in our well-being. So it has to start from the bottom up, which is us. We need to talk about this, we need to be open and we need to remove the shame that it was passed down to us in regards to we don't talk about burnout, we don't talk about uh your political views, you don't talk about your personal stuff, you don't talk about like whatever it is. That does not work, it's not working for for us anymore.

Liliana 21:17

No, no, and if it's working for you, I'd love to hear from you because I don't know how that's sustainable. It's not sustainable for myself. And again, maybe that's because we do have added layers, but I don't know many people walking around right now that don't have added layers, you know, besides being a human trying to survive and a professional trying to survive. If you've got kids, that's an added layer. If you've got a partner, that's an added layer. If you're a business owner, that's like there's just if you have health issues, right? If you've lost someone tragically, you know, I feel like the grief we hold now is different than pre-COVID grief. It it just feels different, right? And I think I think our first step, right, is being able to acknowledge it, name it, normalize it, and then ask for help, reach out for help, get yourself into therapy, find a group of people that you can connect with that you are safe with to be honest about these things.

Maria 22:20

Yeah. So I I guess the message that we are trying to share with you is ask for help.

Liliana 22:29

Yeah.

Maria 22:29

Right? This this idea of that it's not there or I can actually let's prioritize it. And and let's advocate for change by advocating That means that we are political.

Liliana 22:44

Yeah. Yeah. And and I think it's really important to hear that it's okay for you to say that you're not okay. Yeah. Yes. It's really okay. Mm-hmm.

Maria 22:55

Yes. That's been one of the hardest lessons for me. Not only asking for help, but also to say I'm not okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:04

Yeah.

Maria 23:04

And it's not until we start doing it more and more with people that we trust and they show up for you that you realize that, oh, I can do this more and more. And so we create more capacity to do so. So we are, I think I can say this, Maria, right? Like we are perfect examples of we did not know how to do this. We are learning how to do this. Sometimes by texting, and can I say this out loud?

Liliana 23:33

It's our podcast. We can say whatever we want.

Maria 23:37

But also talking to our circular friends, talking to professionals, not only as a uh other therapist, but also your doctors.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Yes.

Safety, Fit, And Values In Care

Maria 23:47

Because they can become your allies when it comes to what is it that we need. And we're not advocating for list pop appeals so that you can be okay. But hey, SNL said, maybe this is a good time to be medicated.

Liliana 24:03

Well, and I think it's really important too, because you know, in our profession, we're we're female dominant in our profession. And as females, we are often told, I mean, we've talked many, many times about our own history of being told to like suck it up, quiet down, you know, calm down. You're being hysterical, you're being dramatic, all of these things. That it is something we've had to learn to sit back and go, you know what? I'm not okay. This this pain I'm experiencing is not okay. This sadness is too heavy for me to just brush off. So part of our invitation is you know, being honest first with yourself.

unknown 24:44

Yeah.

Liliana 24:45

Because we are hardwired and trained to just keep pushing through. Yes, that's true.

Maria 24:51

Yeah, this this year I've been very, very open with anyone who has asked me. So if you're in my close circle, you you have heard this from me when I said, like, I am having a hard time. I'm gonna need your help. Even like with my doctor saying, like, I work with this population that is being targeted. The stories that I listen every day are heartbreaking. I can regulate and I know what is happening to them. I know the fear that they carry when I listen to children's stories. Like, so even like my doctor, I remember I was like, Wait, am I gonna have to take care of you? Like it was like this split second, like, what is happening here? But we have to talk about these things because it's needed. We need to change the mentality that we had about therapists not being humans.

Liliana 25:41

Yeah, yeah, because we are we're messy humans ourselves, helping messy humans in a world that is really super duper messy and dangerous right now.

Maria 25:53

Yes, it's not that it has not been like this before, it's just that we're in steroids right now.

Liliana 26:00

Yeah, well, and we're we're choosing to take a different stance, yes, right? As clinicians, as providers, as women, we are choosing to take a different stance this time around.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Yeah.

Maria 26:11

So we started with the world is on fire. Yes, we are naming burnout is here, it's not going. Last year was too long, and we're just in February. We have a long way to go this year. We're we're hopeful that uh by November things can change. That doesn't mean that everything is going to change, but we're looking for a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Anxiety is high, everyone is talking about being exhausted. What we're saying is, can we all be human to human and talk about how we're all feeling this as we are containing the pain of others?

Book Clubs, Limits, And Micro-Respite

Liliana 26:59

Absolutely, absolutely, and take good care of you, right? You it's we only have the one of you, and we want you to be on the other side of all of this.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Yes.

Liliana 27:13

So, whatever that looks like for you, finding a safe place to talk about these things, putting down some boundaries, talking openly about what you're struggling with without shame. Please, please, please. We've got a long road ahead of us. It is only February. So we do need you to take good care of you. And maybe that looks a little different this time around.

Maria 27:37

Yes, and and that is the hope that we both are having by bringing this topic to all of you. So please share anything that came out for you after you're listening to this episode, and let us know how we can be a service to you. Absolutely, and find some time to play because that helps. Oh my god. Yes, that will be another episode because I'm playing now.

Liliana 28:02

Perfect. Till next time. Bye.